Lawrence Tynes Sells Cars With Square Wheels


If that doesn’t scream “raging pussy” then I don’t know what does. For a little context, Lawrence Tynes, someone who’s entire career is based on Brett Favre throwing an interception, started trolling Patriots fans on Twitter after the Patriots routed the Colts in the AFC championship game. In the 2008 NFC championship game, Lawrence Tynes missed two field goals (43 and 36 yards) that would’ve put the Giants ahead of the Green Bay Packers. In overtime, in his last play as a Packer, Brett Favre threw an interception at his own 34 yard line. The Giants ran the ball three times and Tynes kicked a 47 yard field goal that any other kicker wouldn’t have had the opportunity to kick, because they would’ve made the first attempt.

And what does this guy go on to do? Essentially nothing. He did win another Super Bowl, but again, he had nothing to do with it. He just happened to be on the team. (Ok, yes he did kick a game winner in the championship game against the 49ers, but once again any kicker would’ve made a 31-yard kick in the windless sunshine of San Francisco.) That’s the same reason why Mark Rypien and Brad Johnson have Super Bowl rings.

So now the question is this: Why does this guy who was cut after his team won the Super Bowl, contracted MRSA in the Buccaneers locker room, and is now a car salesman, have to be such a douche? I’d have to say that he’s crying for media attention since he’s now been out of the hypothetical spotlight for so long. Missing two crucial field goals really got this guy a lot of press.

Anyone who legitimately thinks the Giants were the better team in either of those Super Bowls is sadly mistaken. As much as I agree that this is a team sport, one player can be individually responsible for losing a game, such as Brandon Bostick letting the ball clock him off the head on Sunday. As much as I love Asante Samuel and Wes Welker, a dropped interception and a dropped pass were the difference between five Super Bowl titles. That’s not to say the Patriots had any business beating the Rams in 2002, I suppose the argument can be made there. But the Rams choked that game, their team played awful. In the two Super Bowl losses, one player messed up. The team played fine.

I think you need two arms to do that. Sherman’s only operating with one at the moment, kind of like Aaron Rodgers’ legs. And he won’t have an opportunity to do it if his quarterback plays as awful as his last two performances. Russell Wilson doesn’t throw 4 interceptions against the Patriots and win.

Kind of like how Lawrence Tynes tends to get cut two weeks after Super Bowls, or when he fails to treat an ingrown toenail, whichever comes first.

Facts are fact: 10 years since the Pats have won a Super Bowl. We all know that. Also 10 years of utter domination (132 wins, soon to be 133). 10 years would also put us right around the time that Lawrence Tynes got drunk and broke a bouncer’s nose and assaulted a bartender. Facts are facts.

Just another case of someone looking for excuses as to why the Patriots have owned the NFL the last 15 years. Who’s the last team to win consecutive Super Bowls? Oh.