DeflateGate: The Dagger


You know what this is? That is a dagger. Specifically, the proverbial dagger that is drenched in the blood from the lifeless body of deflategate.

It was reported earlier today that the NFL had footage of a ball boy in the Patriots locker room who they deemed a “person of interest”. That’s what their CSI team came up with in their combing of Gillette Stadium.

Later, this article was posted on Pro Football Talk:

On Monday, Jay Glazer of FOX Sports added the next new big piece of news in #DeflateGate, reporting that the NFL has interviewed a locker room attendant who allegedly took footballs from the officials’ locker room after they had been inspected and approved “to another area on way to field” before the start of the game.

PFT can now contribute additional details to that story.

First, per a league source, the other “area on way to field” is a bathroom.  The bathroom consists of one toilet and one sink and a door that locks from the inside.

Second, according to the same source, the person carried two bags of balls into the bathroom:  the 12 balls to be used by the Patriots and the 12 balls to be used by the Colts.

Third, from the same source, the evidence comes from a surveillance video that was discovered by the Patriots and given to the NFL early in the investigation.

Fourth, again from the same source, the video shows the employee in the bathroom for approximately 90 seconds.

I absolutely shat myself laughing at this story. Absolute comedy gold. This has got to be the end of Deflategate, right? There’s absolutely nothing else the NFL could possibly pull out of their ass. It took them a week to figure out that a ball boy took a piss before the game. I usually plan my pisses a week in advance.

And furthermore, Robert Kraft, the same man who defended Roger Goodell during Ricegate, is now demanding an apology. And rightfully so. The Patriots have been wronged once again. Just everyone trying to get back at Bill, Bob, and Tom, and once again realized they’re losing the battle. Chess is such a difficult game.