LOOK NO FURTHER! WE’VE FOUND THE SONG OF THE SUMMER! “SIPPIN'” BY PAPI AND GRONK!!!!

Live look at me

Man-on-fire

EN FUEGO!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥/🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥!!!!!!! A 10! A FUCKING 10!

Let’s break this bitch down for a minute.

-This actually isn’t too bad of a sounding song. Cool and fun melody that has already gotten stuck in my head/will be lodged in there all summer long. Damnit Dunks, you magnificent bastards.

-Gronk, to save his life, can’t sing for shit. Love the guy to death but my GOD he cannot hold a tune. “Taking in some suuuunnnshine” was bruuuuuuuutallllll. I’m pretty sure he was given the opportunity to ration his smarts/abilities into any subjects he wanted. He (naturally) gave 87% to football, 10% to boobs, and 3% to the number 69. That’s it. Can’t do anything else. But that’s why we love him.

-At least Gronk is giving some effort. Papi doesn’t really care/wanna be there. But I don’t get why; you’re at a pool….with Gronk…..and a dancing Dunkin’ cup that can shred. That’s the stuff that dreams are made of and you’re not even gonna give it the time of day Papi? Guess that’s not the only thing that you’re not giving a rat’s ass about over the last few months. 🐸☕

-WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THE TANDEM BIKE COME FROM?!?! DON’T WANT, NEED!

-If you don’t think I’m gonna try and do cup solos whenever I get Dunks from now until the end of eternity, you’re outta ya mind. I’m gonna be jammin’ with my iced coffee (caramel swirl cream three sugars pls) and singing better than Gronk and I’ll be happier than Brady getting a high five.

-The question wasn’t “Will something be Gronk Spike’d?” but rather “What will be Gronk Spike’d?” This time around, it was a water balloon that met its maker. I had my money on one of the floats in the pool, or maybe some Dunkin’ iced itself, but that wasn’t to be.

-Also, this:

I bet the director said, “Hey uh, Rob, just try and give the most stereotypical and inaccurate representation of a singer preparing to perform for like ten seconds and you get to touch some boobs. Sound good? Cool, mic’s rolling.”

-According to the horse’s mouth, there are three more fuego yams comin’ our way. Thank GOD this isn’t a one time thing.

This is unreal. I can see it now…

“And the Grammy Award for Record of the Year goes to…DAVID ORTIZ AND ROB GRONKOWSKI FOR “SIPPIN’!” as Gronk steps onto the stage lookin’ like the savage he is.

TAKE IT AWAY KANYE!!!!

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