Finally, A Summer Playlist To Rival Fitzy’s Piece Of Shite

And on July 2nd, 2015, 238 years and 263 days after the Declaration of Independence was signed, DJ Sgt. Pepper has penned a playlist that will finally free all of Stitched Up’s reader from being subject to Brendan Fitzpatrick’s limp dick taste in music.

Fitz, who doesn’t know a synth from a slide guitar (or heavy beer from lite), successfully compiled a KISS 108 greatest hits playlists, while mixing in some pop-country artists and some hip hop that doesn’t fit at all.

The criteria for my playlist is simple: upbeat, catchy, danceable, singable, and make you smile and/or laugh. That’s all.

Introducing: HERE COMES JOHNNY, SINGING SUMMER GOLDIES

DISCLAIMER: The embed thingy ^ only shows 200 songs. There’s a bit more on the playlist.

While you start jamming out, let’s do a quick rundown. A lot to go through here.

Dire Straits – ‘Walk Of Life’

The song the playlist gets its name from. The iconic keyboards at the beginning are enough to give me the smile on this one.

Angels & Airwaves – ‘Everything’s Magic’

Space rock doesn’t exactly have a place in this playlist (no Muse, 30 Seconds To Mars), but the upbeat nature of this song does.

Arctic Monkeys – ‘The View From The Afternoon’, ‘Fake Tales Of San Francisco’, ‘Teddy Picker’

A lot I could put on here from these guys, but I went with the catchiest of ’em. And ‘Teddy Picker’ is hilarious: “Don’t be surprised when you get bent over”.

Bad Rabbits – ‘Can’t Fool Me’, ‘Take It Off’, ‘Better Days’, ‘Stick Up Kids’

The reigning champs of the Boston R&B scene always have a place in my heart. They’re a straight up get wasted band.

Barenaked Ladies – ‘If I Had $1000000’, ‘Odds Are’

A classic, timeless hit and a newer, post-Steven Page song that strattled the charts two summers ago.

The Beach Boys – ‘Wouldn’t It Be Nice’, ‘California Girls’

No summer playlist is a summer playlist with The Beach Boys. It’s all in the name.

Paul McCartney – ‘Band On The Run’, ‘New’, ‘Day Tripper’, ‘I Saw Her Standing There’

The most iconic Wings song and a new millenium McCartney masterpiece. And because the Beatles aren’t on Spotify, two live cuts.

Beck – ‘Dreams’, ‘Sexx Laws’

‘Dreams’ is currently climbing the Alternative charts (hit 6 today), and ‘Sexx Laws’ is one of his older, oft-forgotten tracks.

Best Coast – ‘The Only Place’, ‘Crazy For You’

Again, it’s all in the name. This band’s entire catalogue could easily make the cut.

The Black Keys – ‘Gotta Get Away’

A year later it’s still my favorite Keys song, and the most summery of any of theirs.

Bleachers – ‘Rollercoaster’, ‘I Wanna Get Better’

Last summer’s super slam dunk hits are still relevant a year later.

blink-182 – ‘Touchdown Boy’, ‘Dammit’, ‘Mutt’, ‘Wendy Clear’, ‘Feeling This’

Another band that MUSE be included. I could’ve put 50 of their songs, but I feel I chose the best summer songs of their catalogue.

Blur – ‘Lonesome Street’, ‘Ong Ong’, ‘Parklife’, ‘Coffee & TV’

Alas, 2015 and Britpop lives to fight another day. Two of my current favorites plus two of their classics.

Coldplay – ‘Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall’, ‘Life In Technicolor ii’, ’42’

Even bands that are depressing and typically not upbeat can have summer songs.

Deaf Havana – ‘Boston Square’, ‘The Past Six Years’

Remember this name. The second British invasion is about to go down.

Death Cab For Cutie – ‘No Sunlight’

See what I wrote for Coldplay.

The Decemberists – ‘Calamity Song’, ‘Make You Better’

‘Calamity Song’ is a personal favorite, and ‘Make You Better’ is their latest single which continues to baffle me as to why it didn’t get more airplay.

Foo Fighters – ‘Big Me’, ‘Floaty’, ‘Enough Space’, ‘Learn To Fly’, ‘Gimme Stitches’, ‘Generator’, ‘Summer’s End’, ‘These Days’

That’s a lot.

Foster The People – ‘Don’t Stop (Color On The Walls)’, ‘Coming Of Age’

Whistling is a go-to for summer songs. Don’t worry, no Flo Rida.

Franz Ferdinand – ‘Dark Of The Matinee’, ‘Do You Want To’, ‘Right Action’

They may just be the kings of catch. Alliteration AF.

FFS – ‘Johnny Delusional’

Catchy keys and tongue-in-cheek lyrics are why this is the greatest collaboration ever.

Green Day – ‘King For A Day’, ‘Minority’, ‘Outsider’, ‘The Static Age’, ‘Carpe Diem’, ‘Burnout’, ‘Having A Blast’, ‘Welcome To Paradise’, ‘Pulling Teeth’, ‘Sassafras Roots’, ‘J.A.R.’

I’m not taking the time.

The Hives – ‘Hate To Say I Told You So’, ‘Walk Idiot Walk’

Yes, this band has more than that song that was in every Madden game from 2005-2012.

Jack Johnson – ‘Washing Dishes’, ‘Never Know’, ‘Good People’, ‘Bubble Toes’

A guy who just surfs and plays acoustic for a living has gotta have a few.

Jason Mraz – ‘Living In The Moment’, ‘Everything Is Sound’, ‘You Fckn Did It’

That last one is the most epic song ever made.

Jetty – ‘Saturdaze’, ‘Go Getta Groove’

Look at the name damn it. And their tendency to funk out helps too.

Jimmy Eat World – ‘Appreciation’, ‘Damage’, ‘Big Casino’, ‘A Praise Chorus’

“Wait, is this the band that sings that Disney song?”

John Mayer – ‘Wildfire’, ‘Queen Of California’, ‘Something Like Olivia’, ‘Bigger Than My Body’, ‘Back To You’, ‘Love Song For No One’

Definitely gotta tap into Mayer’s folk albums for this.

The Killers – ‘This River Is Wild’, ‘Bones’, ‘This Is Your Life’

I tried real hard to not overdo it with this band.

Matchbox Twenty – ‘Real World’, ‘Mad Season’, ‘You’re So Real’, ‘All Your Reasons’, ‘Radio’

Legendary pop rock band that churns out hit after hit? Yes please.

Matt and Kim – ‘Let’s Go’, ‘Hey Now’, ‘It’s Alright’

These two put on a freaking show. These songs are the summerest of em all.

Modest Mouse – ‘Dashboard’, ‘The Best Room’, ‘Doin’ The Cockroach’, ‘3rd Planet’, ‘Gravity Rides Everything’

They have a lot better songs than ‘Float On’. Just sayin’.

The Mowgli’s – ‘Summertime’, ‘San Francisco’, ‘The Great Divide’, ‘Clean Light’, ‘Bad Dream’, ‘You’re Not Alone’

Fitzy’s biggest fallacy was only putting one of their songs in his playlist. This band will make you dance and sing like you’ve never danced nor sang in your life.

Neon Trees – ‘Love In The 21st Century’, ‘1983’

These young guns know how to write a pop song.

New Politics – ‘Harlem’, ‘Tonight You’re Perfect’, ‘West End Kids’

My favorite Danish band. Not that I had to choose.

Oasis – ‘Up In The Sky’, ‘Some Might Say’, ‘Be Here Now’, ‘Acquiesce’, ‘Fade Away’, ‘Stay Young’, ‘Round Are Way’, ‘Whatever’

It’s a shame that most people only know three songs by them. Best band of the ’90s.

Noel Gallagher – ‘Lock All The Doors’, ‘Do The Damage’

Like I said, Britpop lives.

The Offspring – ‘Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)’, ‘Come Out And Play’, ‘Original Prankster’

Who doesn’t love The Offspring?

R.E.M. – ‘Shiny Happy People’, ‘Near Wild Heaven’, ‘Orange Crush’

The first one there might be the happiest song ever written. If I ever see someone frowning whilst listening to it, I’ll lose all hope.

Rob Thomas – ‘Streetcorner Symphony’, ‘Hold On Forever’

MB20’s lead man has got some great solo cuts. ‘Streetcorner Symphony’ symphony is all about loving each other no matter what, and ‘Hold On Forever’ is his latest single.

Smash Mouth – ‘Walkin’ On The Sun’

Keep your bread to yourself!!!

Steve Miller Band – ‘Take The Money And Run’, ‘Jet Airliner’, ‘Swingtown’

Some classic tunes here. If only people nowadays knew who Steve Miller was, and not just these songs.

The Strokes – ‘The Modern Age’, ‘Barely Legal’, ‘Hard To Explain’, ’12:51′

I feel Is This It has got the most amiable guitars of their albums. ’12:51′ is a must-have though.

The Polyphonic Spree – ‘Light and Day’

I was watching an episode of Scrubs while typing this that had this song in it. That’s why it’s here.

U2 – ‘Every Breaking Wave’, ‘California (There Is No End To Love)’, ‘When I Look At The World’, ‘The Electric Co.’, ‘A Day Without Me’

Those first two, I stress the acoustic versions on the playlist.

Weezer – ‘Surf Wax America’, ‘Holiday’, ‘The Good Life’, ‘Don’t Let Go’, ‘Keep Fishin”, ‘Cleopatra’

The first two there were literally written in a state of exuberance after they were signed by a major label.

Yellowcard – ‘Inside Out’, ‘Back Home’, ‘One Year, Six Months’

The entire Ocean Avenue album, by right, should be on here. I just didn’t have the balls.

The Stone Roses – ‘Sally Cinnamon’, ‘She Bangs The Drum’, ‘Waterfall’, ‘Made of Stone’

I really wish more people knew about this band. It’s amazing how some pivotal bands in British music history never made an impact in the U.S.

The Kooks – ‘Sway’, ‘Junk Of The Heart (Happy)’, ‘Jackie Big Tits’

Acoustic joy should be their name.

Smallpools – ‘Killer Whales’

Killer whales are kept in small pools.

O.A.R. – ‘Two Hand Up’

Their new album was actually awesome. I was shocked too.

Modern Baseball – ‘Rock Bottom’, ‘The Weekend’

As sarcastic and nihilistic as they are, they’re absolute lyrical geniuses.

I Fight Dragons – ‘Eighteen’, ‘No Strings’

The band that went form recording sounds off a Gameboy to writing the theme song for The Goldbergs. A true rags to riches tale.

MisterWives – ‘Our Own House’, ‘Not Your Way’, ‘Reflections’, ‘Best I Can Do’

I’m still in love with this band.

Cold War Kids – ‘This Could All Be Yours’, ‘Miracle Mile’

I managed to fend off my fever for them, but these songs are certainly worthy.

Wavves – ‘King Of The Beach’, ‘Super Soaker’

Another one of those bands that has a name that somehow relates to a beach and therefore is in the playlist.

Walk The Moon – ‘Anna Sun’, ‘Work This Body’, ‘Shut Up And Dance’

Ah! He caved!

Saint Motel – ‘My Type’, ‘Cold, Cold Man’, ‘Butch’

This band is the next indie act to breakthrough and go big. You may have heard ‘My Type’ in commercials/on the radio already.

George Ezra – ‘Blame It On Me’, ‘Budapest’, ‘Cassy O”

It’s hard to believe a British folk singer is getting played on top 40 radio. Keeping it real.

Andrew McMahon – ‘Canyon Moon’, ‘Cecilia And The Satelitte’

The latter is bringing McMahon’s now third moniker for his music to the top of the charts.

Jack’s Mannequin – ‘Holiday From Real’, ‘Bruised’, ‘Dark Blue’

The second of Andrew McMahon’s three aforementioned monikers for his music.

Chris Shiflett – ‘Helsinki’, ‘Burning Lights’

The Foo Fighters’ lead guitarist’s side projects caught my attention a few years back. These two are the highlights.

Phoenix – ‘Lisztomania’, ‘Everything Is Everything’

yeah

Vampire Weekend – ‘Walcott’

I actually hate this band.

San Cisco – ‘Fred Astaire’, ‘Golden Revolver’

Another beach band! By cleverly removing the “Fran” from their hometown, they’ve successfully come up with cool band name.

MGMT – ‘Electric Feel’, ‘Time To Pretend’

Sorry kids.

Grizfolk – ‘The Struggle’

Another indie band on the rise.

Ozma – ‘Domino Effect’

Weezer with synths.

’90S ONE-HIT WONDERS:

Blues Traveler – ‘Run Around’

Deep Blue Something – ‘Breakfast At Tiffany’s’

Rusted Root – ‘Send Me On My Way’

Len – ‘Steal My Sunshine’

OMC – ‘How Bizarre’

Violent Femmes – ‘Blister In The Sun’

Chumbawumba – ‘Tubthumping’

Fastball – ‘The Way’

Filter – ‘Take A Picture’

Todd Rundgren – ‘Bang On The Drum All Day’

COUNTRY:

Kenny Chesney – ‘When The Sun Goes Down’, ‘Beer in Mexico’, ‘Reality’

Luke Bryan – ‘All My Friends Say’, ‘That’s My Kind Of Night’

Brad Paisley – ‘Ticks’, ‘Beat This Summer’, ‘Mud On The Tires’, ‘Riverbank’

Keith Urban – ‘Long Hot Summer’, ‘Days Go By’, ‘We Were Us’

Little Big Town – ‘Boondocks’

Brantley Gilbert – ‘Small Town Throwdown’

Blake Shelton – ‘Boys ‘Round Here’

Phew. Check mate Fitz.