Happy 1st Anniversary of Germany’s Dismantling of Brazil, and Happy 5th Anniversary to “The Decision”

With a quick look on Timehop, I saw that it was the anniversary of two pretty major sports stories over the last few years. July 8th marks the anniversary of Germany defeating Brazil in the World Cup semifinal by a score of 7-1 and of LeBron James’ infamous ESPN special “The Decision” where he decided where he would sign as a free agent.

First the soccer game. I was at work for the majority of this game. I got back with about 20 minutes to go..and I still saw 3 goals. Granted it was already 5-0 at that point, but I saw Andre Schürrle net two for Das Germans and Oscar get a cute little goal in the 90th minute.

Talk about a surprise. People were picking Brazil to go all the way. Granted, I thought the Germans were gonna win this game and win it all (I’m so smart) because they were far and away the more complete and cohesive team; Brazil didn’t have a group that played as 1 but rather a group that played as 11. But still, I wasn’t expecting complete and utter domination to this extend. I was sneaking in Twitter visits as it was happening, and I was laughing out loud. Well, laughing but then also quickly worrying about the welfare of everybody in Brazil since I was convinced the streets would be filled with blood. At least we were lucky enough to see a Final more exciting than this one.

This was low key a hilarious tweet.

And, of course, The Decision. THE Decision. THE ONLY IMPORTANT Decision. The day that spawned the phrase “I’m taking my talents to…” This was puke city right from the get-go. The summer of 2010 in sports was tainted simply because of this whole Bron Bron love making session. This is really where ESPN started to see the wheels fall off the wagon. You could see it was developing in the past, but once they let LeBron pull this shit while trying to preserve the whole “I’m just a kid from Akron act,” then I started to question the legitimacy of the worldwide leader.

I predicted he would go to the Knicks due to the exposure (which he loves more than basketball and life itself) and money they had to throw around, but pretty much everyone knew it was gonna be Miami. That exposure would’ve gone anywhere he went in hindsight. Everyone knew it, that is, except people in Cleveland. When he went back to the Cavs, that’s when you really knew that Cleveland fans were the victims of Stockholm Syndrome. Their captor, Bron Bron, played with their hearts and these suffering fans, after burning his jerseys in the street, plead for his return for the next five years. LeBron feels like coming home, and then he’s welcomed back without any mention of said jersey burnings or tears that were shed on June 8th, 2010.

#NeverForget Dan Gilbert’s open letter to Cavs fans saying that he “personally” guaranteed a Cleveland championship before a LeBron-led Heat title. Good times, goooooood times. Call him a coward and then fall to your knees and worship him again when he’s a free agent again. I can’t hate that move!

ESPN got this right though.