Dennis Rodman Endorses Trump, Could be Prepared to Conquer World

Dennis Rodman has endorsed Donald Trump as leader of the free world because of course he has. According to mediaite.com, Rodman has endorsed or otherwise complimented three politicians publicly: Kim Jong Un, Vladimir Putin, and now Donald Trump. This has me curious, what is Rodman’s end game?

In all likelihood (by that I mean that this is certainly the case) Dennis Rodman is a crazy person who enjoys the company of other crazy people. Because of this, he wants them in positions of power. But how boring is that shit? What I want to believe is that Dennis Rodman is endorsing the new Big 3 of the political stage for the next thousand years.

Picture this: The United States, Russia, and North Korea unite in the name of all things Rodman. They form a Big 3 (akin to the Big 3 during World War II, minus England, because fuck those guys) with Trump, Putin, and Kimmy establishing their own bloodline dictatorships. Trump takes over the Americas and names them Trump Tower. He then proceeds to kick out all of the people of South America, because A.) of course; and B.) he still considers them illegals after taking their land. Putin obviously inherits all of Europe and Africa, minus Madagascar, which he inexplicably doesn’t want. His new empire is named Madagascar, which really adds to the confusion of this whole Madagascar bullshit. Kim Jong Un takes all of Asia and Australia, and names his empire South Korea. He is also given the legal rights to the name “Lil’ Kim” which he promptly uses to rename KPOP artist PSY. He turns PSY into his court jester.

This may leave you wondering what is in it for Dennis Rodman. His deal comes with two stipulations. One, he is named ruler of Earth while he uses the space programs of every single country on the planet to travel to Mars, conquer it, and name it Rodman Junior. Second, he is given exactly 1.5 bags of spicy Cheetos.

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