Japanese High School Baseball Hardo Redefines In-Between Pitch Routines

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the fuck are you doing kid? Are you Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

There’s really two schools of thought here on totally different ends. I’m torn between the two, so you can decide what side you’re on personally:

1.) Get this guy a contract! STAT! There’s an old saying: “Look good, feel good, play good.” This kid must think he’s looking good flipping and jumping like he’s recreating “I Don’t Dance” from High School Musical 2.

So he naturally feels good. I mean, come on: you don’t do this shit feeling bad about yourself. Kid’s in the zone! He’s in his own element, exactly where you want him. Thus you’ll get the best production out of him. Hey Cherington, do I have to do your job for you or are you gonna give this guy a Sox hat pronto? He can make an immediate impact if he’s playing with that amount of energy day in and day out. Plus, he can probably play LF better than Hanley. Gotta respect this kid’s hustle and swagger.

2.) Fuck this kid. No, really, fuck this kid. Why didn’t this video end with a high and tight fastball in his ear flap? You pull that shit anywhere outside of Japan, because clearly no one gives a fuck about shit like this over there, then you’re gonna be pelted and laughed at. You have to show some respect for your opponent and the game as a whole, and pointing at the pitcher after you hit a weak dinky foul ball is not how you do that. If I’m the pitcher here, I’m beaming him and pulling a Pedro back in ’03, looking for his head.

pedro head

But no matter which side of the spectrum you fall on, you have to admit you can’t be pulling these shenanigans if the endgame is a fucking groundball out. If you start frolicing and exploring the space of the batter’s box like you’re Gene from Blue Oyster Cult, then you better be sure you’re hittin’ a dinger that’ll be gone forever, Aaron Hernandez style.

Speaking of YABOs, imagine how awesome this kid’s bat flip is? Now I’m really curious. Would it beat this guy, the heavyweight bat flip champion of the world?

And while we’re on the topic of Asian baseball, I feel obligated to post this video of Manny being Manny in Taiwan.

And, of course, the greatest power hitter of our generation Wily Mo Peña hitting one of his many bombs over in Japan.

But a final thought on this kid: if the band repeating the chorus of “We Will Rock You” in the background is too much, mute the original video and play “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” from Mulan. Works ten times better. And no, it’s not racist since Mulan was from China and this is in Japan, you uncultured mutts.