For anyone who doesn’t know, Ken Kratz was the DA in Calumet County, WI up until the year 2010. In the last week, he became famous for becoming the most hated man in America after Netflix released it’s 10-part documentary Making A Murderer, which chronicles Steven Avery’s exoneration after 18 years of jail time, and his arrest for the murder of Teresa Halbach.
The main problem your normal American has with Kratz can be accurately depicted by this Valentine’s Day card:
Anyone who’s watched the series knows how much of a square wheeler this guy is. Evidence that has been proven to not exist or that magically appeared after days of not being on the property or that is disproven or found to have been extracted via hypodermic needle from a vial of the defendant’s blood from a previous case is continued to be shoved up the arse of the viewer/jury/defense by this man.
And that prove’s to not be the only time Ken Kratz will try to shove something up someone’s arse.
2010: Kratz, once the chair of Wisconsin’s Crime Victims’ Board, was now found to have been sending pictures of his unit to a certain domestic abuse victim, who’s boyfriend he was currently prosecuting.
I guess the Wisconsin folk really do love Brett Favre. Enough to pull a flip phone Favre phallus of their own. How does a guy like Ken Kratz reveal himself (pun intended) to be a sex addict? Unless he was reeling hookers/the hottest 2’s in Calamut County, I don’t think anyone wants to touch this man.
What do we think this guy looks like with his shirt off anyway? Somewhere north of Jabba the Hut and south of a McNugget is my best guess.
Saying he looks like the Grimace might be a compliment.
But these things aren’t even my #1 gripe with the guy.
It’s the way he speaks.
Just listen to this.
The guy has this speaking mannerism where he says “uh” in a high pitch at the end every sentence and its driving me nuts. Yes, a lot of people do that, but when it’s also in his pedophile-stricken tone it’s like finger nails on a chalkboard. The pedophile thing actually turns out t be slightly true, just with domestic abuse victims instead.
In conclusion, Ken Kratz is the person I currently want to punch in the mouth most. I’m more of a pacifist but I’d love to witness it happen. This is a big feat for Mr. Kratz, seeing as I’m also a Patriots fan. Yup, he’s leap frogged Roger.