(That picture isn’t from the NQ Shell; it’s from a Shell in California. Couldn’t find a decent picture of the hometown one and thought that this station looked sick)
NOW YOU’RE IN QUINCYYYYYY!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE ASSHOLES STEAL YOUR BANK ACCOUNT INFOOOOOOO, THERE’S NOTHIN’ YOU CAAAAAN’T DO!!!!
But hold on. To quote the great Mike Francesa, “waituhsekin.”
Is this actually a story coming out of the City of Presidents? Maybe this is without merit. Let’s look at the first line of the article and see if this is actually a story that could come out of Quincy.
“Police are advising people who recently purchased gas at the Shell station in North Quincy to pay attention to their bank statements after a skimming device was discovered at one of the pumps Thursday.”
Scummy activity? In North Quincy? At the shady Shell station near the high school?
Yup, this is our city!
This week’s full of snakes ain’t it? People stealing credit card info from people who are just trying to get 25 bucks of the 87 regular, other people rubbing their hands all over their schlongs before making handmade pizza, the works. World’s unfair mannnnnn, society sucksssssss. A wise lead singer of a band from Las Vegas that we often talk about on this site once said, “This is the world that we live in.”
Whoever did this, though, has to be as dumb as rocks when it comes to logic. Yeah, it obviously takes some knowledge to know how to install a device like this, but how do you think you can get away with it in 2016? At some point, the loyal Quincy 5-0’s gonna catch on. They’ve busted too many kids underage drinking to be stumped by someone trying to steal credit card info from gas stations. Receipts, cameras, eyewitnesses, it’s all easily accessible and abundant nowadays. This scumbag’s gonna get their just desserts at some point, it’s just a matter of time (another obligatory Killers reference).
This is the kinda shit you get off scot free with in like 1922. After a quick Wikipedia search, I found out that’s sort of the time when credit cards came into play as a payment option. But there’d be no video cameras at Alfred Higgenbottoms’ fine gasoline fuel (pronounced few-ehl) establishment in the northern neighborhood of Quincy. Receipts were probably a foreign concept at the time. Even if they had them, what if you wanted to take a picture of it and send it to police and other people in order to warn them of what could happen if you give that gentleman your business? It would take too much time to get the word out. You’d have to wait like seven weeks for that shit to develop, waiting around while your picture–with horrible black and white quality, by the way–sits in some weird liquid* while the criminal is on a train halfway to Cincinnatti. It’s either wait for that picture to develop (along with the other pics from your recent family reunion where absolutely no one is smiling) or send a vague telegram to the police while ragtime piano music plays in the background.
Now, if you’ve known me for long enough, you know that one of my former places of employment was a gas station. Egan’s Sunoco in West Quincy, to be exact. Some great people over there on Adams St. I was a
petroleum exchange engineer gas attendant for a few years, so I’m well versed in the gas pumping game. I have a bunch of stories about working there, and maybe I’ll write something about the highlights. You see below it’s not a big place, but my GOD there were some ridiculous happenings.
But I digress. As a guy who used to handle peoples’ money all the time, I’m just now realizing after reading this story what I could’ve done during my tenure. It’s amazing when you think about it: these (for the most part) complete strangers would trust me enough with their cash and cards to complete a transaction and not fuck up their lives. With cash, it was just however many bills the driver would give me.
But with a card? Hell, I could’ve written down alllllllll their info and stolen allllllllll their money. Name, card number, security code, expiration date, all that jazz. People pay with cards all the time at full service stations, but honestly: if a random person walked up next to your car and said, “Hey, I’ll go grab you something from the store if you give me your card. I fly, you buy.”
Would you do it? Of course not!
Granted, the setting where I worked warranted that situation, but I very easily could’ve just snuck off with a good ol’ AmEx or Visa card and ran away. I don’t live far from that Sunoco, and I could start a brand new life with this poor person’s card (if I’m able to get the money out before they pause/cancel their account)! Or maybe I just wait to pull off the heist and save it for a rainy day. If it happened out of nowhere, they wouldn’t expect it and wouldn’t have a clue as to who stole all their savings (they actually would probably have a very good idea but whatevz)!
Yet I didn’t do any of that.
You know why?
this is all just dawning on me now I’m not an asshole like this dude trying to screw people over at Shell.
*I have ZERO idea how old photographs used to be developed. I think they were dipped into some type of liquid? I dunno, I’m a journalism major not a photographic history major.