A Bunch Of Mascots Got Together In Philly To Have A Dance-Off; Fight Cancer

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Mascot-Party-in-University-City_Philadelphia-369609411.html

Before I get into the liquid lava #hottaeks, lemme just say that this is obviously for a great cause and, quite frankly, a terrific idea. What’s one of the big things people associate with any organization, be it a company or a team? Mascots. If you’ve got an iconic mascot then you’re gonna be an established part of society as a company until pigs fly as far as I’m concerned. I mean, this event had the Pink Panther, the Philly Phanatic (the event was at the Palestra, where UPenn plays basketball. Incredible arena; one of the best venues NCAA teams have to offer), and who could ever forget the Great Cuts mascot?!

Is that mascot named Chad? That bottle of shampoo looks like a Chad. Or a Dylan.

The one thing that’s disappointing with this event though is based on the dancing of the mascots. It seems like the curators cloned every single family member I know and put them into the suits.

I mean, come on guys! I know the Electric Slide is a non-mascoty dance to do, but I could’ve sworn I saw Uncle Ron or Aunt Nancy giving Mario and the Pittsburgh Penguins’ mascot some pointers throughout the video. Jump up and down! High five the awesome volunteers (or kids who had to come in order to get credit in a class; hey, it’s still a cool thing to do)! Take out a t-shirt cannon! But challenge yourself; you’re better than the Electric Slide. That’s meant for family members of a certain age at reuinions or parties. Mascots aren’t heading down to the Sons of Italy Post and doing that dance with their cousins from Michigan after a couple of adult sodas, they’re bouncing on trampolines at halfcourt, summersaulting through rings of fire in midair, and throwing DOWN.

I can’t be the only person that doesn’t know how to do the Electric Slide, am I? I’ve been to a lot of those types of family gatherings that take place at your typical function hall like I just explained, and almost every single time one occurs, the Electric Slide is played at some point. That tune for the generation above me is like Mr. Brightside for my generation: whenever, and I mean whenever that song is played on the AUX cord/legitimate DJ turntable, the crowd goes bananas and lets the music overtake them. People my age simply sing our hearts out until we don’t have a voice, but fans of the Electric Slide do this random ass dance that makes little-to-no sense for your boy.

I still don’t know how to do it. Random claps, nonsensical steps, abrupt turns, I know I’m not a dance expert but it’s too much. If we’re talking big group dance songs, gimmie the Cupid Shuffle, Dinosaur, and Soulja Boy over the Electric Slide. I know I just said that mascots have to be better than the Electric Slide, but hey, I’m no mascot. I don’t have to be able to do this dance. That issssss naht mah job!

Regardless, this looked like a fun time for an awesome cause. I say next year our good friend Sam the Minuteman heads down to Philly for the event.