As Sam Bradford began to become agitated as the unemployment line’s eclipse of the sun continued to grow, possibly mistaking mercury’s transit for the bulk of it, he decided earlier today that he would end his limp dick attempt at a hold out. Because if there’s one thing we know about Sam Bradford, it’s that he’s not a bad guy and he’s certainly not a horrible quarterback.
And he certainly has the best of intentions. But not only does he as much leverage as I have money in my bank account, but this is just the latest instance of one of those harmless let downs America has come to associate with Sam Bradford.
As a perennial defender of Samuel this is of course hard for me to say. It’s not like the Rams would’ve made the playoffs had he not been injured all those years, but one could also say that his injuries have paved the way for less entertaining football, with the hysterical masses being exposed to the likes of Shaun Hill, Austin Davis and Mark Sanchez. Just when you think you’ll never hear Shaun Hill’s name again, he manages to squirm his way back into your life, just like people questioning my sexuality. Mark Sanchez is slightly forgivable because him on the field arguably may be more entertaining football, although that also eliminates any potentially dynamite cuisine recommendations he may have up his sleeve.
Maybe its our own fault for romanticizing holdouts. Weigh the pros and cons as you will, because if there’s one certainty it’s that Sam Bradford will never hurt you, but he’ll disappoint you. And after taking the Eagles on a two-week emotional roller coaster, they’ve finally got their guy back who’s not good enough to be a long term answer, good enough to rack up $78M and just mediocre enough to be cast into the lineup as the template to be observed by Carson Wentz as what not to do.