I’m going to stick with my original take here that whenever a man with any potential decides to finally chop the lettuce, the results are similar to the Herschel Walker trade. His lyrics and personality already have landed him the likes of Taylor Swift and bridged a 14-year gap with Caroline Flack, much to the dismay of the fax machine generation. But what I’m predicting here is a dynastic outcome for Mr. Styles. Not only will his songwriting improve, but maybe he’ll finally be able to see out of his peripherals and realize that its time to go solo and become the Justin Timberlake of the Xbox generation. This will likely stimulate the pheromones of higher grade females such as Anna Kendrick, McKayla Maroney and Margot Robbie, and I predict him to do in the next 10 years what the Cowboys did in the ’90s. There have been five (major) dynasties in pro football, and Harry Styles’ stint as the eye candy dynasty of the decade is set to begin.
That means that in the first relationship he’ll realize how he can do better, the second he’ll get some sort of injury (not going to say in the intersheet office, but likely so), then he’ll leave that relationship for no good reason at all but still utilize the perks he gained from the original trade off to enter into a third relationship characterized by the other side forcing it and him taking it to the house.