I thought the word “July” was “June.” So we’ve got another month. This post was still of the gold standard though so it’ll stay up.
Sad news to have to announce this today. With a heavy heart I’ve had to expose the fact that I had to choose between this and Coldplay. I went with Coldplay because although this site has long fueled my head full of dreams, Coldplay has long been a dream that will actually happen.
Fitzy, Nudes, Stromski and I do all the grinding, and unfortunately all these views translate to precisely zero dollars. It crossed my mind to start a go fund me because Internet, but given the fact that there was a mass shooting over the weekend I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, even as a joke.
I told Fitzy that maybe in like a month we can as long as there’s not another mass shooting. Then it crossed my mind that the likelihood of this happening was about on par with the likelihood of Matthew Perry dropping a kaleidoscope off a small airplane and it landing on a ham and cheese sandwich.
Which is why we’ve decided to pose a challenge to you America: if we can make it a month without a shooting, we’ll resume being selfish and put up the go fund me. Or I’ll have paid the renewal by then anyway and it won’t matter, but like the Cavaliers winning game 5 last night embodied, meaningless sentiments always matter.