Pokemon GO Is Riddled With Nostalgia

I don’t know if yall knew this, but I’m a life long Pokemon fan. There was a point in time where I owned red, blue, yellow, gold, silver, crystal, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and diamond. I’m enough of a fan to have been getting pissed off at adults calling it “Pokey Man” as if there’s a superhero that likes to finger people in the name of justice. That’s been going on since I was five and it never gets less frustrating (but not as frustrating as my first rodeo with Drake the dragon king back in ’99). I also know enough to know there’s an accent on the “e” but am too lazy to do anything about it.

Knee jerk reaction is that the game stays true to the original by not having any black people in it. They’ve also ditched the word “gender” and are going with “style”. We all know why.

I think the aura of absentee fathers is also present. Hardcore fans know this world was created in Red’s head to cope with his father leaving. The only trace of any father in the games is the third generation when he’s a gym leader. The only trace of fathers in GO is the absurd amount of gyms I’ve seen popping up at places with bars in my town.

Side Note: Someone swam out to an island at made a gym on the marina in my town. Swam. With their phone. Savage.

I won’t drag on flaunting my knowledge, I’ll save that for the end. I just want to make it clear I’m not one of those people who comes out of the woodworks when something suddenly becomes trendy and claims to have “been a fan for years,” such as LA Kings fans every other year since 2012 who don’t know who their captain was before Dustin Brown, anyone under the age of 3o who has purchased “froyo” after the year 2011, or all you people who made fun of me in high school for *kinda* liking country music freshman year and within two years owned every piece of Cowboy paraphernalia south of the Mason-Dixon and started posting lyrics to “Knee Deep” by Zac Brown on Facebook. Yall made me hate it.

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I’m not quite there with Pokemon GO yet. ie I’m not at the point of hating it or hating people talking about it because of my history with the franchise. As everyone knows, the only thing more annoying than bandwagon fans are people who complain about the bandwagon fans, which most of the time is a dead giveaway to them being bandwagon fans themselves. We live in a world where the system feeds off the limp dick of repressed America, so let them have their excitement is what I say.

Admittedly I haven’t spent too much time playing the game. I’ve played it enough to know it’s pretty cool. All my friends are loving it and Asians stormed Central Park yesterday.

It’s also solving issues of race relations in Fall River.

If you ask me, Pokemon GO is the most people have been brought together since prohibition. It’s causing people of different backgrounds to unite. This time it’s young people coming together to enjoy catching little furry animals (why do the Japanese call them monsters? Some are monsters but not all.) and banding together to take down the Pokemon GO heretics, roughly 35+, who are upset because their version of Pokemon GO was them wandering through the woods and finding a used porno magazine under a rock. And they probably went their whole life and mayyyyyyyybe found one. Other than that they had to check the TV guide in the paper to see when Atlantic City was on HBO at 3am.

People are also showing up at this man’s house in Holyoke, MA by the cars full.

It also literally brought a person onto a dead body, for anyone who missed that.

AND crime rates are at an an historic low in NYC. Guess everyone’s too busy trying to be the very best like no one ever was to be out breaking the law.

All in all Nintendo has just capitalized on the nostalgia factor of a demographic that’s just starting to face the stress of the real world and needs an accessible childhood outlet to regress into.

Now for my proof of knowledge:

Whether you agree with this statement or not is fine. But the arguments I give mean I know my shit.

The second generation of Pokemon is the best.

That would be the Gold, Silver, and Crystal games. They were by far the longest games because after you defeated the elite four in the Johto region you could then go back to the Kanto region the previous games and play through that area as well. This of course culminates in the hardest battle of the entire series, Red in Mt. Silver.

Besides the longevity factor, 251 Pokemon seemed like the right number. It was low enough to actually be feasible for the casual player to catch most of them, and not too high that the developer started to get lazy with the designs.

charjabug

The battery Pokemon.

It was also the first game to have items that could be held by your Pokemon (which introduced the berry system), in Crystal there was battle animations and a playable female character and more importantly your Pokemon could now get laid and have babies. Oh yeah and there was color too. That’s kinda important. That’s why I can still play my Gold version but not my Red version. I may not be a guy who explodes at the sight of amazing graphics (gameplay>) but COLOR is something I kinda need. Anyways, that’s that.

@jonsgaard19

TL;DR

I make a lot of jokes.