A Mexican Dog Bit me and This is Why We Need Trump’s Wall More Than Ever MY COLUMN:



Last night I survived my second attack by a canine inside of a year, the culprit: Emmanuel “Manny” Noke (pictured above, left, faces concealed to protect identity), a rescue from Mexico or Puerto Ricco or some shit. ANYWAY this dog discriminated against me for my red hair and has bitten me twice, the incidents occurring roughly a year apart.

   Luckily I made a way from the attack with minor injuries. Experts say that the first attack was provoked by myself trying to take Manny’s ball away from him only to have my left hand clamped onto by the beast. Some call it provoking the attack, but I thought as a society we agreed that it is NEVER the victim’s fault SMH. The second time around was unprovoked af.

   I was on the couch watching suicide squad with the Noke Family and playing with Manny and petting him, thinking the past was behind us. I stopped petting him to sit back and watch the movie only to be given the “why’d you stop?” eyes by Manny. I continued to pet him only for him to bite my right middle finger, I ripped my hand away from its jaws but the damage had been done. I bled all over the Noke family bathroom as I cleaned and bandaged it. I was comforted by the other Noke dog Luna (pictured above, right) who is very friendly and kind, going as far as to put her paw on my shoulder for support. Experts said that because I am of a similar size and stature to Manny’s primary target of attacks: Matthew Noke, and that I was wearing similar clothes to that of Matthew, that it might’ve been a case of mistaken identity when Manny lashed out. Once again, I thought that we agreed as a society that it doesn’t matter what type of clothes victims are wearing so I also consider that kinda offensive on their part.

That being said this is the second dog attack by a hispanic dog on me inside a year, at that rate of 2 dog attacks per person thats like over 600 million Mexican or puerto riccan dog attacks on americans every year and thats about a million more than I can handle.   Thankful enough Trump is going to build a wall to block us form these harmful attacks that caused me an inconvenience.  I am excited and thankful that these will not be an issue, as a massive wall SHOULD prove quite the barricade to get over for any dog.

That being said, while at a gathering on New Year’s Eve I was nut tapped by head honcho John Andersen, I think he’s Swedish or Norwegian or some of that scandinavian ish so I REALLY wouldn’t hate a big wall along the east coast to protect us from further swedish guys that wanna hit me in the nuts or any other Americans for that matter.

One thought on “A Mexican Dog Bit me and This is Why We Need Trump’s Wall More Than Ever MY COLUMN:

  1. 3rd party observer with no real bias in the matter says:

    Hey “Nudes” I would just like to point out the fact that as an illegal immigrant, it is hard for Manny to move up in the workforce and his mind is therefore unchallenged. This lack of intellectual stimulation has been proven to lead to aggressiveness; shouldn’t we be offering Manny the opportunity to flourish in the home of the free? Would love to catch you for an interview!


Comments are closed.