U of Minnesota Mascot Truck Sticks Kid; Sees Draft Stock Rise

 

AYE LITTLE BOY!!!!! LITTLE *BOY*!!!!! DAAAAAMN!!!!! HE PUT THE TEAM ON HIS BACK DOEEEEE!!!!

This is the textbook definition of downhill running. Goldy the Gopher is out here making Barry Sanders and LT looking like Trent Richardson post-trade and Peyton Hillis post-Madden cover. Who needs a B/circle button, he’s going straight for the truck stick, right analog flick up. I mean look at that form!! Pads low, feet keep moving, poor kid never stood a chance. Just gotta dust yourself off, watch the all 22, and try again next possession. Actually he shouldn’t even try to meet Goldy “Jerome Bettis” the Gopher in the open field again; stick to receivers fella.

A lot of college football scouts, analysts, and fans have been raving about Penn State junior halfback¬†Saquon Barkley, especially after his performance this past Saturday against Iowa where he accumulated over 300 yards all purpose. He’s gonna be picked early in the NFL Draft next year, sure, but if I were him I’d be looking over my shoulder for another B1G Ten running back. Goldy’s stock is RISING, folks, buy now while you can.

Two big things really jump out when you think about his skill set and potential as an NFL running back.

First, this star running back is a huge mystery, but in a good way. Sure, you know what you’ve got with Barkley; what you see is what you get. But underneath that sweaty mascot head and uniform is a total unknown. It could be anyone! It could even be a running back!

Second, and maybe more importantly for those who love their game film, Gophy’s doing this without ANY help from his offensive line, and yet still looks incredible. Let’s break this down.

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From the very beginning of this play, everything looks broken down. Both A gaps are being flooded and the center, T.C. Bear of the Minnesota Twins, looks clueless (RIP Brittany Murphy). Maybe he’s just too busy thinking about who his guys will be starting in the wild card game against the Yankees, but he’s gotta give Gophy a better effort than this. His guard on the extreme left part of the screen also seems to be overwhelmed as Gophy gets the pitch. Number 35 is left untouched as he storms into the backfield. It’s amazing that Gophy even got past the line of scrimmage.

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Speaking of bad blocking, Gophy’s team is lucky they’re not getting slapped with an illegal block in the back here on the Minnesota Wild’s mascot (I assume it’s the Wild’s mascot but I might be wrong). Completely reckless move here. You gotta be smarter with these blocks. In a matter of mere seconds, the o-line in question has committed too many cardinal sins.

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As Gophy kicks it outside, you see four (4) defenders who could easily make a play on him and stuff him for short/no gain. Gophy’s elusiveness is crazy good, as he’s able to escape this situation. His awareness to point out where his guys should block is impressive for a young guy like him, too. You can’t teach that kind of anticipation.

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Freddie Falcon, the Atlanta Falcons’ mascot, comes in with a weak attempt to block the trailing defender. Granted it’s at least an effort compared to what T.C. gave, but there’s still a lot of room for improvement. Freddie has clearly graduated from the Devonta Freeman School of Blocking.

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AGAIN, this mascot in front of Gophy has GOT to do a better job of paving the way to pay dirt. Luckily, Gophy dealt with this himself.

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And then there it is. Poetry in motion, even though this is a screenshot. Absolutely breathtaking. Beautiful, really. Somewhere, John Riggins is smiling at this bulldozing.

Gophy’s clearly got the rare blend of speed, agility, and power. He’s a top 5 pick at WORST this upcoming draft. Status on his stock: BUY BUY BUY!!!!