No, It’s Not Christmas Time Yet.

I wanna preface this by saying that I’m a huge Christmas guy. Love it so fucking much. You can catch me with a hot cocoa or some homemade Bailey’s watching Charlie Brown, Rudolph, or Christmas Vacation right by the tree and the imaginary fire (my chimney’s clogged as shit; a house fire isn’t the best way to celebrate the season). Hell, I wrote a whole blog series about the best Christmas song! This exact idea was then used by JA, but I digress.

A day or two before Halloween, I saw a few rumblings on the interwebs about people getting excited for Christmas season starting right after All Hallows’ Eve. Fine. Whatever. Let the idiots yell into their echo chamber on Twitter. Let them be wrong.

Halloween comes and goes, all the candies have been eaten, and the calendar turns to November.

And BOOM! People begin feelin’ themselves because they think Christmas season has begun! Barstool’s posting blogs about how the season has officially begun! I’m having arguments in multiple group chats and there are an abundance of people are against me/flat out wrong! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

Look I’m excited for Christmas SZN to begin. I go balls deep when it kicks off. Basically nothing but Christmas music all the way up to the 25th. I get out my list of movies I need to watch multiple times and check it twice. I get excited to shop; it’s the only time of the year where going to the mall isn’t a chore for me because it’s fun and happy and joyful!

But get outta here with this November 1st booty. It’s not Christmas time yet. Christmas time starts on Thanksgiving night after the Dallas Cowboys game.

My main gripe with this line of thinking is that you inherently just ignore the buildup to Thanksgiving, the 2nd best holiday that loses out to Christmas by a hair. Everyone talks about how Christmas has great food, optimal drinking times, and even sports gets thrown in there. And admittedly, getting football on Christmas last year and this year was/will be fucking awesome. Awesome regular season NBA matchups on Christmas are great; great late season NFL matchups are better.

But Thanksgiving has that too and y’all are just sleeping on it! It’s fucking awesome too! They’re not mutually exclusive things; you can be excited for what Christmas has to offer and utilize some of that excitement for the buildup towards Thanksgiving. There are Thanksgiving TV specials. One of the best holiday movies is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, which is a movie centered around Thanksgiving. The weather is, generally, perfect; enjoy that shit before it’s too late. Thanksgiving is known to have fall weather, Christmas has doubled down on snow. Look outside. You see snow? If you do, thanks for reading, or Спасибо за прочтение! I love all my fans in Russia.

As for the day itself, dinner is probably the best singular meal of the year, dessert is also elite and also chimes in the Christmas season, three football matchups which include dank cat naps during the Cowboys game, and all the feelings of a Sunday family get-together WITHOUT THE SUNDAY SCARIES!!!! Drank too much on Thanksgiving? Guess what?! Tomorrow’s Friday and it doesn’t matter!!!!

So we’re all clear, please note that the Cowboys game is a vital time stamp in all this. It is the last point where Thanksgiving has the stage for itself before it has to do a duet with Christmas for a hot minute. Think of it like a Venn Diagram, Thanksgiving is one circle, Christmas the other. The Cowboys game is the last part of solely the Thanksgiving circle, while the night game on NBC is the middle part. See below on this professionally made giraffe:

Screen Shot 2017-11-02 at 1.46.25 PM

The NBC game is what starts the Christmas season, not the 1st of November.

November 1st is also simply way too early. A month of buildup is the perfect amount of time for Christmas. November’s 30 days plus the 25 it takes to get to Christmas is 55 FUCKING DAYS!!!! In the words of the great Sarah Lynn of BoJack Horseman fame….

FreeForm Zombie ABC Family doesn’t have “55 Days Of Christmas.” They have “25 Days Of Christmas.” They also have a “Countdown To 25 Days Of Christmas” which, yes, starts a bit too early; starts about a week before Thanksgiving. No sir, I don’t like it. Start it up after Thanksgiving.

The same amount of people who seemingly think that Christmas time started yesterday is equal to the amount of people who complain about Christmas decorations and Christmas items being put up for sale too early. I’m sure that group also intersects, similar to this Venn Diagram:

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Can’t have your cake and eat it too, guys. Christmas season for you fools starts much earlier than Thanksgiving night. you gotta decide if that’s good or bad. If it’s good, you can’t complain about stores starting to push Christmas stuff in September like me or any other rational thinker. Two months is already enough for the NBA and NHL playoffs; it’s wayyyyy too much for Christmas season considering that Thanksgiving is a beautiful gift sent from the colonization of America God. I’d probably be sick of Christmas music if I started listening on 11/1. No, I would not like to watch Elf for the 45th time during the 2nd week of November, thanks though. Hold the roast beef, I’m having turkey first.

I know it’s so cliché to say at this point, but this truly is the best time of the year. And yes, it’s highlighted by its superstar, the day of days, Christmas.

But is Christmas is the international megastar known worldwide, Thanksgiving is the also massive superstar that you pair with the megastar to make an unstoppable team.  Of course MJ and LeBron are the best players of their respective generations. They were the most valuable players of their respective title runs. You don’t have the 90’s Bulls or 2011-12 and 2012-13 Heat without Air Jordan or King James. But MJ needed Pippen to make those Bulls teams truly legendary, as LeBron needed D-Wade.

Pippen and Wade were never ever neglected despite not being as loved worldwide.

Don’t neglect Thanksgiving.

Wait for Christmas season to truly begin.