Incredible gamesmanship from the legend John Smoltz. Like a mermaid singing a siren song for sailors about to meet their demise, he played a song for Cowboy Joe West so he could get away with nibbling larger corners of the plate against his opponents.
How has no one ever thought of this before? Maybe someone else has, I don’t know, but if someone did and it had results like this, you’d think people would know by now right?
When you think about it, music is one of the first things you talk with someone new after you meet them. How many siblings do you have? What do you study in school? What music do you like?
So why haven’t more pitchers picked up on this?
It’s so simple that no one but Smoltz ever thought of it. It was hiding in plain sight. It is bribery in its purest, non-monetary form. It was right there for the taking for greats like Mariano Rivera, and instead he went with “Enter Sandman” by Metallica every single time. He had too much pride in his own taste in music. Maybe that’s why he walked Kevin Millar to start the bottom of the ninth in Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS and kickstarted the greatest comeback in sports history; the ump behind the plate was a Megadeath guy.
UP THE MIDDLE! ROBERTS WILL COME TO THE PLATE! THE THROW BY WILLIAMS, BILL MUELLER HAS TIED IT!
I for sure have a huge amount of songs that would get my feet tapping and on your side if I were your home plate umpire. Pick anything by The Beatles, Coldplay, The Killers, U2, Bruce Springsteen, Eric Church, Kendrick, etc. and I’ll give you some calls. However, there are certainly songs that will for sure pit me against you. You’re gonna have a tough time out there on the hill if you enter the game to these tunes. Here are the worst three you could possibly pick.
1. “Jukebox Hero”-Foreigner
Just an absolutely horrendous song. There’s garbage and then there’s garbage and this is garbage folks. I have had way more than my fair share of part-time retail shifts where Classic Rewind on Sirius is the channel of choice, and this is a favorite on that channel. It’s the definition of a hit or miss channel. You may get the aforementioned U2 or Bruce one minute. That’s a hit. Then, you may get this. This is one of those misses. If you pick this song as your entrance music, every single pitch will be called against you.
2. “Let It Go”-Adele Dazeem
I actually don’t have anything against the song itself. Adele Dazeem has an incredible voice and it’s a great tune. But the issue with picking this as your entrance music is that while you’re warming up, I’m thinking about how overrated Frozen is. It’s not that good folks. Not too good at all. The plot is shaky and doesn’t even really kick in until seemingly halfway through the film, it’s a mess. Olaf isn’t that funny. I like the moose, Sven can stay. He’s about that life. Anna and Elsa are both fine. But the movie as a whole is so bleh.
If you’re gonna watch an early 2010’s Disney animated movie, pick Tangled every single time. That movie is a delight.
And now I bet you wish you picked “When Will My Life Begin” to come out to after I called ball four on that payoff pitch.
3. “Princess of China”-Coldplay
Don’t try to butter me up. Don’t even think about it. Oh I know you know I’m a huge Coldplay fan. You’ve read podcastaf.com. You’re on it right now as you’re reading it, aren’t you? You see Chris Martin on the banner, huh? You’ve listened to the podcast. You’ve done your homework. And I bet you said to yourself “Oh, a Coldplay song with Rihanna! I bet the crowd will love that and will get the ump on my side!”
The fans may love the Bad Girl Riri playing (I love her too, don’t worry) but you can’t fool me with the single bad Coldplay song just because it’s Coldplay and Rihanna. Keep it. You’re getting absolutely zero benefit of the doubt if you chose to come out to this song.
Don’t be the anti-John Smoltz. Don’t pick these songs to be your soundtrack when you’re entering the game if I’m somehow your umpire and you’re somehow pitching in the majors.