Fortnite Has Been Cited in a Bunch of Divorces

https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a23279319/fortnite-video-game-causing-divorces/

Of course. Of course Fortnite has torn families apart.

First it was people’s TV screens and controllers, then childhood friendships when opportunities in squad matchups were squandered (squad-dered in this case?), and now love is lost in the storm. Seemingly eternal bonds between two partners didn’t have enough wood to keep building walls so it could drink some mini shields or a slurp juice. Everlasting promises to each other were knocked down by some kid drunk on Mountain Dew with a gold double barrel and was hacked to elimination with a pickaxe by another Doritos-munching pre-teen who used their mom’s credit card to get the Season 5 Battle Pass. Bow your heads in respect, folks.

Those kids yelling obscenties in PlayStation or XBox parties are catching a bad rap in my book. Older generations are always talkin’ ’bout how these kids won’t get off their darn Nightfort, and how it’s taking over their dang lives. Meanwhile, people are filing divorce papers because John Wicks just keep sniping married couples from 150 meters out. The tables are turning about who’s lives are truly being taken over by the biggest video game in the world at the moment.

The important thing to question here is what exactly about Fortnite is being referenced in these divorces. You would naturally think that one party in the divorce is simply playing it too much. And you’re probably right for the majority of these cases. I’m sure some people literally cannot refrain from doing Orange Justice or Pumplenickle in front of the in-laws and it’s embarrassing.

Yet I wonder if any of these have to do with both parties playing together and getting so frustrated with each other’s performances that it leads to inconsoable differences. One slip of the thumb off the analog stick leads to you losing a fire fight and then you yell out something you can’t take back about your teammate in Fortnite and in life.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE KILLED BY SOMEONE WITH A COMMON PISTOL CRAIG!”

“WELL MAYBE I WAS DISTRACTED WITH THE FACT YOU KEEP OVERCOOKING THE ROAST *KAREN*!

“I’M CHEATING ON YOU WITH THE MAILMAN!”

See how quickly these dilemmas can arise?

It’s something Dwight Howard can surely relate to. A lack of chemistry in the locker room is probably very similar to a lack of chemistry in the bedroom. Even if you’re not piling up W’s like Ninja with your spouse on duos, you at least need that connection out on the battlefield. In sickness, in health, and in Tilted Towers. If you don’t have that with your husband or wife, then there could be issues that not even the best therapists could iron out.